To-Doism

So.... It's kinda been a while. But you know what? I don't come here ashamed or regretful that I've abandoned you all summer. Rather I feel excited about telling you all of the exciting things that you missed while I was away!

Let me think... I went to High School Camp and worshiped God. I celebrated my birthday and my sister's birthday. I trained at Texas Ballet Theater for three weeks. I relaxed and worked and laughed and cried. I did a lot of ballet. I painted my room. We had parties and BBQ and kitties and Merlin. Yes, I would call this summer a very good summer!

And then the rhythm of school began. School. Duel Enrolment classes at a local college. Committees and such I participate in. Ballet. I now teach two ballet/tap classes by myself! I like and benefit from all of these things, but lately I just get stuck in the regular schedules of life and the piling amount of it that I forget to enjoy the moments. I forget to breathe. I forget to laugh. I forget to let go of my schedule a bit and take in what's around me.

I call this, to-doism.

/to-doism/ (pronounced to-do-ism) 1. the act of keeping one's eyes focused on a schedule so that one misses out on the joys of life. 2. trying to get everything done in a timely manner. 3. commonly called stress. 

To-doism sneaks up on you. I takes you by surprise, because at first it appears necessary and good. After all, you have to get everything done, so why not plan the day to make sure everything fits? Schedules and lists and calculations help, right? Alarms, measurements, speed, quality, ratios, proportions. Tasks, Bible time, cleaning, school, prayer, family. Good things. Good ideas. But it lacks something.

Yes. Getting everything done and using lists and such to help is good. And for some people, these practices won't lead to to-doism. But for me and my sensitive, gentle, perfectionist spirit, a lifestyle of schedules leads to to-doism. And it isn't pretty.

To-doism leads to stretched, tired, stressed, inadequate feelings that scream rest and work at the same time and lead you towards neither.  To-doism puts all of the emphasis on you and what you can and cannot do. It gives merit and punishment, but never grace. It over-exaggerates and makes everything more dramatic. It focuses on the temporary, day-to-day things instead of heavenly joys. It keeps your eyes on you feet while a beautiful sunset fans out ahead.

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Don't believes the lies of to-doism. Don't fall into its' trap. Don't let to-doism steal your joy.

Instead, follow grace with passion. Follow God with love. Hold your schedules in open hands. Know that today will pass away, but we have eternity before us. And when you follow Jesus, this eternity is bliss.

I don't suggest that you throw your hands up in the air and watch Netflix all day. I don't suggest that you abandon all lists and schedules. But I do suggest living. Really, truly living. Letting life interrupt your plans sometimes. Resting when you need rest. Laughing at every opportunity. Valuing eternity over temporary. Working with joy. Resting with joy. Giving grace to others. Giving grace to yourself. Because God has given your grace.

Whatever you face and whatever your schedule, I invite you and give you permission to rest in God's grace. To pause for a moment. To laugh. To pray. To relax. Because the truth is, the things-to-do will never end. Life will never stop demanding things of us. But how we respond to Life's demands will change our lives. Will we try to control everything by following to-doism? Or will we live in joy and grace as we go about our tasks, enjoy the moments in-between?

Today, and every day, I want to choose grace. I do not want to let to-doism take away any more of the joy that my Father has given me! So let the world bring on its' tasks and business. I have the God of all on my side! And with Him, I can do anything, even take a step back to rest.

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Choose joy with me!

Hannah

The Big Question

After reading this question, you might think that I am making a big decision. Maybe I'm considering getting a job or making plans for the future. But no, you presumed wrong. The question that I have been asking myself lately is "What do you want to do?" And many times, no one has a practical answer. (After all, going to Disney World is kind of out of the option for this afternoon.)

Summer boredom wants to strike this house, but I am not going to let it. So what do I do? Well, I can say that Netflix has been my best friend, but I also have some best friends that will come over and go see Despicable Me 2 on a random Thursday afternoon. Between the things that must get done, like cleaning and working out, and the things that are incredibly fun but a waste of time, like watching whole TV shows on Netflix, the last few weeks have been very relaxing, but almost dull.

Summer is almost over. But I am going to squeeze all of the relaxation, fun, and summerness out of the days that I have left.I have made a list of things to do over the rest of the summer. Lists make everything so much more official. Here are a few things on the list:

*Have a photo shoot

*Have sleepovers

*Bake desserts

*Get a make over

*Be crafty

*Go shopping 

It's a good list. There are many possibilities for laughter and memories. Late nights and messy kitchens may come into play. But I am going to enjoy the rest of my summer.

So, to answer the big question of "What am I going to do?", I say, I am going to laugh, eat, make something new, and remember something old. I am also about to go eat lunch, because I am hungry. Enjoy your summer, and don't let boredom take over.

Hannah

Coming Home

After three weeks of dancing, laughing, sweating, and even some crying, I'm back. I made it. And I loved it.

Looking back to my experience at Ballet Austin, I would say that it was one of the coolest yet hardest time of my life. I really learned a lot about ballet, myself, and God. I learned that I can do more than I thought that I could. I learned that ballet is something that I still love even when I am dancing for seven hours a day. I also learned that God is always with me. I developed a habit of reading a short devotional in the morning to prepare me for the day and then remembering that devotional throughout the day. I plan to keep that habit going.

My parents picked me up Saturday morning (after a sorrowful goodbye to my friends that I made at Ballet Austin). I stayed Saturday night at my Nana's house because she lives close to Austin. Man, I slept so good that night. I got twelve hours of sleep, and I was still tired the next day when we drove back home.

The first day home was wonderful. I didn't do much. I watched four episodes of Psych with my sister, took an hour long nap, went to bible study, and ate homemade brownies. They were very yummy brownies, especially because they were warm and gooey.

I had the time of my life at Austin, but I am also very glad to be back home, relaxing, hanging out with my friends, eating desserts, and watching my favorite TV shows.

Hannah

My Adventure At Ballet Austin

I haven't posted for a while, but this time, I have reason. I am at Ballet Austin's summer intensive, and trust me, when they say intensive, they mean it. It's intense.

A ballet intensive is like ballet boot camp. Dancers from all over the country come to the intensive and train almost every day. I chose Ballet Austin because it was near by, only three weeks, and it looked like a very good program.

I have not been disappointed.

Saying goodbye was hard. I cried three times. (Once when I left home and my cat, once when I said goodbye to my sisters, and once when I said goodbye to my parents.) But once everything started up, I didn't have the time or energy to be homesick.

My schedule is crazy! I wake up around six thirty, and that is a shock for me, because I sleep in until nine every day. Then I get ready and go to class. I have five classes a day, and normally dance for about seven hours every day. There's ballet technique, pointe, partnering, contemporary, musical theater, Pilates and choreography. In the evening there are normally activities, but I am normally too tired to do them.

Even though this is a lot of work, it is still a lot of fun! The people are so nice, and I have made so many friends! We went shopping last weekend, and this weekend there's a dance party! Also, there are no classes tomorrow, for 4th of July. Yay!

Throughout this whole process I have been trying to connect with God and point everything back to Him. That's hard, because ballet takes up so much thought process that sometimes I struggle with thinking about Jesus too. I find that I think about God most whenever I am struggling. I remind myself that this is just ballet, a temporary thing. God, eternal God, is still my Lord and Father whether I nail the double pirouette or not.

I am about half way done with my experience at Ballet Austin. I am making so many new friends and having so many new experiences, not to mention learning a lot about ballet. I don't want to leave, yet I desperately want to go home, see my family and friends, and sleep in every day.

"Let them praise his name with dancing and make music to him with timbrel and harp."
Psalms 149:3 NIV

Hannah

Hello Sixteen

I turned sixteen this month. (For privacy reasons, I will not disclose the actual date) Here is the account of my birthday  festivities.

First, I had my Sweet Sixteen birthday party. Due to scheduling, I held my party before my actual birthday. (Personally, I like that better. That way, I get two days to celebrate my birthday. What could go wrong?)

Now, I have been thinking about this party for a while. Almost a year ago, I decided that on my sixteenth birthday party, I would get a limo. And I did. Now, I didn't have the whole party planned out a year ago, so I spent the week leading up to the party planning, making reservations, sending invitations, and what not.

Then came the party.

Now, I love parties. I love the people, I love the food, I love the music, and I love the laughter. For my sweet sixteen, I wanted to make it sweet, so after a homemade dinner, we all got in the limo and went downtown to eat dessert. (A very yummy dessert, I must say. I got the chocolate mouse cake.)

After exchanging our share of spooky dream stories and other normal conversations like that, we all got back into the limo and dropped everyone back off at their homes, which took a while, since some people lived farther out. All the better, that means more time in the limo.

When the limo pulled into my driveway, I was so tired. My best friend was spending the night and we thought that we were just going to go to bed. But really, what fun is going to bed, and how often do you have a limo in your driveway? 

So somehow we manged to find the necessary energy to have a ridiculously fun midnight pajama party in the limo. Yes, you heard me right. Midnight. Pajama. Party. In a limo. This said party was complete with little sisters, pillow fights, peanut butter m&ms, and Taylor Swift. When we got home, we crashed. But that was one of the best nights ever!

And that wan't even my birthday;, that was just the party.

On your birthday, people always ask you if you "feel different". What do they expect the answer to be? Of course everyone's just the same as the day before, only happier because they ate cake and received presents.

I did feel slightly different, though. The day was full of possibilities and fun.I ate brownies for breakfast and painted my nails pick with my best friend. I went out to a Mexican restaurant with my family and then we saw Man Of Steel in theaters. (The move was very good, and I recommend it.)

I opened presents and then we ate cake. I love those words: and then we ate cake. I had Red Velvet cake with cream cheese frosting. (Picture shown below.) Maybe Marie Antoinette wasn't so far off when she recommended cake. After all, cake makes everything happier. (I tried to think of a situation that cake couldn't make better, but failed. If you can think of one, please share.)






I'm sixteen now. Do I feel different? Maybe. Well, not really. But I am excited for what this year holds. I'm excited for what God will show me this year, and the places that I will grow in Him.

Hello sixteen. My name is Hannah. Let's go places.

Hannah 

Ballet, Ballet, and More Ballet

Hello! Today has been a rainy day, stormy even. In fact, during ballet class today the power went out. We were in the middle of marking a variation and the lights and music went out. Did that stop us? No! We kept on dancing, singing the tune to make up for the loss of music.

Ballet has been very exciting lately. A few weeks ago, I performed at my studio's recital. I always love recital day. We got up and go to the theater in the morning, and we rehearsing and prepare all day. When I step onto the stage I feel so excited and happy and confident. Backstage is full of laughter and make up. Then comes the recital itself. I get slightly nervous, but once I'm on stage, all I have room to think about is dancing. I performed a variation from Swan Lake's pas de trios. Also, my class and the younger class performed a ballet dance to a dub-step like music. It was so much fun, and the audience enjoyed it too.

I had three weeks off from ballet, but now summer ballet is in full swing. When I was younger, summer ballet seemed like a waste of my summer, but now I spend many weeks of summer training. This summer is different than last summer, though, because I am "going off." (That means that I am going out of town, to a bigger city, to train for ballet.) I am going to spend three weeks at Ballet Austin.

Even though I have been preparing and thinking about this next step for over a year, I can still hardly believe that I am going. I am nervous, excited, and unsure all at the same time. Part of me just wants to stay at home, but the other part wants to see what I can really do. I'll let you decide which part won.

I leave in two weeks. Wow, I can't believe that I just wrote that last sentence. I don't know how often I will be able to post when I am at Austin, but I will try to keep you posted.

Hannah

P.S. This is a picture of my variation costume. I loved it! I felt like a princess while wearing it.